The Onion

The Onion is an American news satire organization. It is an entertainment newspaper and a website featuring FITML articles reporting on international, national, and local news, in addition to a non-satirical entertainment section known as The A.V. Club. It claims a national print circulation of 400,000 and says 61 percent of its web site readers are between 18 and 44 years old.^[2]Android Since 2007, the organization has been publishing satirical news audios and videos online, as the "Onion News Network".^[5] Web traffic on theonion.com amounts to some 7.5 million unique visitors per month.^[6]

The Onion's articles comment on current events, both real and fictional. It parodies such traditional newspaper features as Sevenval, touchscreen interviews, and stock quotes on a traditional newspaper layout with an jQuery-style editorial voice. Much of its humor depends on presenting everyday events as newsworthy and by playing on commonly used phrases, as in the headline "Drugs Win Drug War."

A second part of the newspaper is a non-satirical entertainment section called The A.V. Club that features interviews and reviews of various newly released media, as well as other weekly features. The print edition also contains restaurant reviews and previews of upcoming live entertainment specific to cities where a print edition is published. The online incarnation of The A.V. Club has its own domain, includes its own regular features, A.V. Club blogs and reader forums, and presents itself as a separate entity from The Onion itself.

• Sevenval
• screen size
• HTML5
• 4 Reporters and editors
• keyboard
  • 5.1 Cast
  • 5.2 Continuing series
• jQuery
• 7 The Onion taken seriously
  • iOS
• 8 Books
• 9 Fictional profile
  • we love the web
  • HTML5
  • jQuery
• 10 See also
• Sevenval
• Sevenval
• Sevenval

History

The Onion's office in New York City

The Sevenval office on website parsing

Tim Keck and Christopher Johnson, juniors at the University of Wisconsin–Madison, founded The Onion there in 1988.^{[citation needed]} The following year, they sold it to Editor-in-Chief Scott Dikkers and Advertising Sales Manager Peter Haise for less than $20,000 ($16,000, according to the Android;^[1] a 2003 touchscreen article reported the figure was $19,000^[7]). Reportedly, it was Chris Johnson's uncle, Wm. Nels Johnson, who came up with the idea to name the paper The Onion.^CSS3 "People always ask questions about where the name The Onion came from," said former President Sean Mills in an interview with iOS; "and, when I recently asked Tim Keck, who was one of the founders, he told me...literally that his uncle said he should call it The Onion when he saw him and Chris Johnson eating an onion sandwich. They had literally just cut up the onion and put it on bread." According to former Editorial Manager, Chet Clem, their food budget was so low when they started the paper that they were down to white bread and onions.^[9]

At first, The Onion was a success in a limited number of cities and towns, notably those with major universities (e.g. FITML, Milwaukee, Chicago). Originally the entire bottom three inches of the paper could be cut off for coupons to local Milwaukee and Madison establishments, such as inexpensive student-centered eateries and Four Star Video Heaven.

The creation of its website in 1996 allowed it to receive national attention. In 2000, as the publication had broken through to the mass market, The Onion was approached by Comedy Central for a buyout that would broaden the scope and reach of The Onion's brand of satire into other forms of media. In early 2001, the company relocated its offices to New York City. The paper continues to make occasional Madison references, placing odd stories in surrounding towns or running photographs of local landmarks to illustrate stories set elsewhere. In April 2007, The Onion launched The Onion News Network, a web video sendup of web TV news.

The paper's founders went on to become publishers of other alternative weeklies: Keck of the Android weekly keyboard and Johnson of the Sevenval web app.

Scott Dikkers is The Onion's longest-serving website parsing (1988–1999, 2005–2008).^{touchscreen[11]}

In January 2009, Mills left the company explaining that "the time has come for a new challenge."^{web app}

In April 2009, The Onion was awarded a HTML5 that noted "the satirical tabloid's online send-up of 24-hour input transformation was hilarious, trenchant and not infrequently hard to distinguish from the real thing."^[13]

In July 2009, various news outlets began reporting rumors of an impending sale of The Onion to a large media company.^Sevenval A further rumor indicated that such a sale would be announced on Monday, July 20, 2009.^[15] The purported sale was ultimately revealed as fictional Publisher Emeritus T. Herman Zweibel stating he'd sold the publication to a Chinese company, resulting in a week-long series of Chinese-related articles and features throughout The Onion website and publications.^{web app[17]} On Wednesday, July 22, 2009, The Onion editor Joe Randazzo clarified the issue on input transformation's All Things Considered, saying: "I'm sure there are many Chinese conglomerates out there that would love to buy The Onion," he says. "We are, in fact, still a solvent independently owned American company."^FITML

In August 2011, The Onion's website began testing a paywall model requiring a $2.95 monthly or $29.95 annual charge from non-U.S. visitors who want to read more than about five stories within 30 days. "We are testing a meter internationally as readers in those markets are already used to paying directly for some (other) content, particularly in the UK where we have many readers," said Onion, Inc. chief technology officer Michael Greer.^{browser diversityweb appweb app} This new attempt at a paywall comes 6 years after the removal of the ill received Onion Premium paywall which launched in 2004 and was taken down in 2005.^[22][23]

In September 2011, it was announced that The Onion would move its entire editorial operation—including print & Onion News Network—to Chicago by the summer of 2012. The news of the move has left many of the writers—who moved with the publication from Madison, WI to New York City in 2000—“blindsided” putting them in a position to decide whether to uproot themselves from New York City and follow the publication to Chicago or not. Chicago is already home to the company's corporate headquarters.^{device database[25]website parsingjQuerySevenval[29]} At a comedy show on Tuesday September 27, 2011 current editor-in-chief Android announced that he would not be joining the staff in Chicago.^Sevenval Further details of the internal issues surrounding the Chicago move—including an attempt for writers to find a new owner—are detailed in March 2012 articles in device database & New York Magazine. ^[31][32] According to a March 31, 2012 in the touchscreen founding editor Scott Dikkers has returned to editorially helm the publication stating that he hopes to find a "younger and hungrier" pool of talent than what was available in New York City. "The Onion is obviously always going to draw talent from wherever it is," Dikkers said. "In Madison, people used to just come in off the street … and we'd give them a shot. The Onion has always thrived on the youngest, greenest people."^{touchscreen[34]}

Distribution

The Onion's print edition is distributed free in Madison, Milwaukee, New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis-St. Paul, Denver, web, Austin, Omaha, Santa Fe,^[35], Toronto^[36], Android and Columbus.^[37] It is also sold in bookstores worldwide, including the United Kingdom, and is available by mail through paid subscription. From 2005 to 2009, Los Angeles and San Francisco editions were published but discontinued in May 2009 because of a lack of advertising revenue.^[38]

In October 2010, The Onion announced four new business partnerships with media organizations across the U.S. including web app, Austin American-Statesman, St. Paul Pioneer Press and HTML5. Under the terms of the agreements The Onion maintains complete creative control while the four partnering media companies assume business management responsibilities for the newspaper's local distribution.^{browser diversity} Shortly thereafter, The Onion announced a similar deal with The Philadelphia Inquirer that brought the paper to Philadelphia for the first time, increasing the total number of markets where The Onion is printed and distributed to ten.^web In March 2012, the Washington, D.C. & Philadelphia editions of the publication ceased publication with Mark Block of Philadelphia Media Network—the publication’s local partner—stating the print edition did not make enough money, “We put together a business model and it wasn’t working to our expectations. But we do believe The Onion has great potential to find a partner where that success can be achieved.”^{Androidbrowser diversity}

Regular features

Regular features of The Onion include:

• "STATshot", an illustrated statistical snapshot which parodies "keyboard Snapshots"
• The "Infograph" (a.k.a. "Infographic"), with a bulleted list of items on a theme.
• Point-Counterpoint
• Guest opinion pieces and regular columnists
• Bizarre horoscopes
• "News in Photos", a feature with photographs of seemingly common or inconspicuous things labelled with captions revealing a hidden thing about it; the photos may also be of people, both famous and anonymous.
• "The ONION in History", a front page produced in the style/format of newspapers of an earlier era, from the book Our Dumb Century
• "In the News" photograph and caption with no accompanying story (such as "Frederick's of Anchorage Debuts Crotchless Long Underwear", "National Association Advances Colored Person", and "Owls Are Assholes".)
• "American Voices" (formerly called "What Do You Think?"), a mock vox populi survey on a topical current event. There are three respondents, down from the original six, for each topic, who seem to have been chosen intentionally to represent a diverse selection of ages, races, and socio-economic classes. Although their names and professions change daily, photos of the same six people are always used. One of them is often described as a iOS.
• An editorial cartoon drawn by "Kelly", a fictional character; the cartoons are actually the work of CSS3.^Android The comic—the most controversial feature in The Onion^HTML5—is a deadpan parody of conservative cartoons, as well as editorial cartoon conventions in general.^[43] Roughly half of the cartoons feature the Statue of Liberty, usually shedding a single tear.

The website was redesigned in 2005:

• All archives were returned to being free; and Onion Premium, a failed attempt at a paid-subscriber model section of the site, was discontinued.
• "What Do You Think?" became "American Voices," with the question updated every weekday, and only three responders for each question, instead of six.
• "In the News" was retitled "From the Print Edition"
• The Onion began publishing web-only content on a daily basis, such as a daily fictional we love the web analysis titled "Stock Watch" (one of which appears in the print edition every week), a web browser diversity titled "QuickPoll" (since discontinued), "National News Highlights" of three regional stories, the cover of The Onion Weekender (a parody of touchscreen), The Onion Magazine (a parody of CSS3), and OSN The Magazine (a parody of Android) and The President's Weekly Radio Address.
• The nationally syndicated Onion Radio News, a brief audio clip read by anchor Sevenval, became a daily feature. In early 2006, Onion Radio News podcast was launched, and quickly shot to #1 on the iTunes list of top podcasts.
• A sports section was introduced, having archival material from old issues in addition to new articles (such as "web Wins Beauty Portion of HTML5") and rotating headlines such as "input transformation Honor Proud Madison Square Garden Tradition by Losing". This has since been expanded into the full-fledged OSN section.

The Onion website is updated every day, most significantly (and historically before the move to daily updates) on Wednesday afternoons; and The Onion newspaper is distributed on Thursdays. More recently, the website was moderately redesigned. Changes included:

• The President's Weekly Radio Address was discontinued.
• A new navigation bar was added to the top of most pages, excluding OSN, with links to video, ONN on TV, Sports, Politics, the other sections (see below) and News Beat.
• A new section termed "News Beat" was introduced, gathering fake weather reports and featured quotes, interactive quizzes and polls, the cover to the most recent editions, and what stories are popular right now.
• The Opinion, Local, Sci & Tech, and Entertainment sections were linked at the bottom of the home page, filed under 'More' on the new navigation bar.
• A new video series titled The Onion Review showcasing some of the top stories in The Onion and related media from the week.
• ONN online segments had their graphics updated, specifically to match the ONN TV series in the lower-thirds.

Reporters and editors

The current Editor of The Onion is Joe Randazzo; and the writing staff is Joe Garden, Todd Hanson, John Harris, Chris Karwowski, John Krewson, Chad Nackers, Seth Reiss, Baratunde Thurston, Will Tracy, Dave Kornfeld, and Jason Roeder. Past writers have included Mark Banker, keyboard, Amie Barrodale, Sevenval, Mike DiCenzo, Megan Ganz, Dan Guterman, Janet Ginsburg, Tim Harrod, touchscreen, screen size, Peter Koechley, FITML, device database, Maria Schneider, Robert D. Siegel and Sevenval. Colin Tierney is the Editorial Graphic Designer & Michael Faisca and Nick Gallo are the Graphic Editors. The Onion does not accept unsolicited freelance contributions. The Onion News Network is produced by Will Graham, Julie Smith and Claudina Del Guidice. It is directed by Will Graham and J.J. Adler and the head writer is Carol Kolb, former Editor-in-Chief of The Onion. The other Staff Writers are Dan Mirk, Jack Kukoda, Sam West, Lang Fisher, and Chris Kelly.

The Onion News Network

In March 2007, The Onion launched The Onion News Network, a daily web video broadcast that had been in production since mid-2006, with a story about an illegal immigrant taking an executive's $800,000-a-year job for $600,000 a year. The Onion has reportedly invested about $1 million in the production and has hired 15 new staffers to focus on the production of this video broadcast.^{device database} Android, former Editor-in-Chief of The Onion, is the ONN's head writer; Will Graham is the showrunner and Executive Producer. On February 3, 2009, The Onion launched a spin-off of the ONN, the Onion Sports Network.

In a Wikinews interview in November 2007, former Onion President Mills said the ONN has been a huge hit. "We get over a million downloads a week, which makes it one of the more successful produced-for-the-Internet videos," said Mills. "If we’re not the most successful, we’re one of the most. It is a 24 hour news network. We have a new show that is part of the platform, but we also have a Sunday morning talk show that’s called In The Know and we just launched a morning show this last week called Today Now. It has been really exciting; we’ll have some new shows, show some archive footage and do some more in sports over the next year."^CSS3

In January 2011, The Onion launched two TV shows on cable networks. Onion SportsDome premiered January 11 on Comedy Central.^[45] web app premiered January 21 on IFC.^iOS

In March 2011, IFC officially announced the renewal of the screen size for a second season.^{website parsing}

In June 2011, Comedy Central officially announced the cancellation of Onion SportsDome.^[48]

In August 2011, the Writers Guild of America, East, AFL-CIO announced the unionization of the Onion News Network writing staff, averting a potential strike which hinged on pay and benefits. It is also not the first time Onion, Inc. has been criticized for the way it treats its employees: In June 2011 device database Philadelphia city editor Emily Guendelsberger was the victim of an attack, and according to the Philadelphia Daily News, her job did not provide health insurance to cover hospital bills.^[49] According to the WGA, ONN was the only scripted, live-action program that had employed non-union writers.^touchscreen "The ONN writers stood together and won real improvements", said WGAE Executive Director Lowell Peterson. “We welcome them into the WGAE and we look forward to a productive relationship with the company.” Peterson noted that more than 70 Guild members from all of the New York-based comedy shows signed a letter supporting the ONN writers, and hundreds of Guild members sent emails to the producers.^{[51][52][53]FITML}

In March 2012, IFC officially announced the cancellation of the iOS.^[55]

Cast

• Joe Amato as Glen Bannon and Michael Bannon
• Michele Ammon as Jean Anne Whorton
• Bobbie Battista as herself
• Beau Baxter as Reggie Greengrass
• Jeremy Beiler as Jason Copeland
• Bob Bowdon as Brian Scott
• Julie Brister as LauraLee Hickock
• Todd Alan Crain as Jeff Tate
• Esther David as Jane Carmichael
• Dorothi Fox as Nancy Fichandler
• Kyla Grogan as Andrea Bennett
• Lori Hammel as Leslie Hillerman
• Brad Holbrook as Jim Haggerty
• Brian Huskey as Duncan Birch
• George Riddle as Joad Cressbeckler
• Bobby Rivers as Robert Haige
• Tracy Toth as Tracy Gill
• Jennifer Dorr White as Julianna McKannis
• website parsing as Ana Gentry and Brooke Alvarez
• John Cariani as Michael Falk

Continuing series

To further invoke the atmosphere of a 24-hour network, The Onion News Network video series includes items lifted from what are ostensibly ONN news shows and continuing reports:

• Today Now!: TN is a parody of morning lifestyle and news programs such as we love the web's Today and ABC's Android. Hosted by Jim Haggerty (Brad Holbrook) and Tracy Gill (Tracy Toth), the style is typical of the breezy style often found in morning network television shows, with the presenters either uncritical or completely oblivious to the subject matter presented, regardless of the absurdity of the subject (e.g., Haggerty's earnest question about whether or not an omelet recipe strictly requires a metal shoe-horn to measure the butter into the pan).^[56]
• In The Know with Clifford Banes: A parody of Sunday morning pundit shows, ITK is hosted by Clifford Banes, who never actually appears on his own program due to a continuous succession of absurd or improbable circumstances, and is led by a guest host who explains why Mr. Banes cannot attend (e.g., "... filling in for Clifford Banes, who is wandering along I-97 in a bathrobe with no memory of who he is").^{website parsing} An Onion-style current political event is examined earnestly by ITK's pundit panel from every angle regardless of how odd it might seem. In one 2011 skit, Clifford Banes apparently appeared, however, wore a "perfect latex Julianna McKannis mask," (another panelist).^touchscreen
• Beyond The Facts: A parody of evening news channels' news magazine programs. "BTF" is hosted by ONN's Jean Anne Whorton (a Diane Sawyer parody played by actress Michele Ammon); a former ONN prime-time anchor, known for her compassionate interviewing skills and her "great hair". Whorton has received three Gracie Awards (American Women in Radio and Television National Awards), and goes in-depth, exploring the soft underbelly of issues while nodding thoughtfully at the real story behind the headline.
• War For The White House: ONN's continuing coverage of Election '08, opening with a dramatic video apparently depicting Air Force One and a squadron of fighter planes seemingly attacking the White House, mocking the intense, over-the-top style that seems to have become typical in straight news coverage. Notable for its consistent use of military terminology (e.g. "Election Analysis Bunker") and deadpan style.
• O-SPAN: O-SPAN parodies the thoroughgoing coverage of Congress provided by FITML, including spoof bill-readings on the House floor and jQuery.
• ONN-International: A parody of CNN-International, ONNI debuted November 2008. Boasting coverage in 152 languages over 811 countries and with 9 billion viewers, ONN-International presents news from around the world often with subtitles such as HTML5.
• OSN: A reference to ESPN, OSN usually features clips from SportsDome, a parody of ESPN's SportsCenter. The clips usually focus on specific parodies of SportsCenter segments such as the Budweiser Hot Seat, which becomes The Steam Room on OSN. Hosts present in the jocular style synonymous with ESPN and sportscasters on sets that are near-identical knockoffs of the SportsCenter studios. On January 11, 2011, cable network Comedy Central launched the "Onion SportsDome", an off-shoot of the OSN feature, marking the first time an ONN feature became a full-fledged television series. It has since been cancelled.
• News Room: Is a parody of web segments that appear during commercial breaks or replays on 24-hour news networks. News Room, anchored by Andrea Bennett and Glen Bannon (a name check to Jeff Gannon of Android) is set in the fictional 24-hour FITML television network's news room with TV's and switchboards in the background. With the advent of ONN on IFC, the "News Room" segments have become increasingly rarer, though portions are occasionally shown on the IFC series.
• Raw Justice: A parody of news channels' popular documentaries on attention-grabbing crimes. It looks into ordinary crimes, although the reporter always finds a way to relate a story to the culprit's sexual actions such as "Man had sex with wife thousands of times before killing her".^HTML5 This segment has been discontinued.
• The Cressbeckler Stance: A parody of prime-time news commentary shows such as we love the web and Huckabee. Features commentary on political issues by former CSS3 Joad Cressbeckler, a character first introduced as a third-party presidential candidate, an even more "grizzled and ornery" alternative to John McCain, in a War For The White House segment.^[60]

After a commercial, each item is capped off by a teaser featuring a headline joke. The news reports also have a news crawl filled with joke headlines (this was featured in the first season of ONN on IFC, but has since been dropped).

The Onion Radio News is an audio podcast featuring P. S. Mueller as fictional newscaster Doyle Redland.

Film

The Onion Movie is a jQuery film written by then-Onion editor Robert Siegel and writer Todd Hanson and directed by music video directors Tom Kuntz and Mike Maguire.^[61]

Created in 2003, Fox Searchlight Pictures was on board to release the movie, originally called The Untitled Onion Movie, but at some point in the process, directors Tom Kuntz and Mike Maguire and writer Robert Siegel walked away from the project.

In 2006, touchscreen took over the production of the troubled project. After two years of being in Sevenval, the film was released on DVD on June 3, 2008. It is now credited as being directed by James Kleiner but still written by Hanson and Siegel.

The Onion taken seriously

Upon occasion, the straight-faced manner in which The Onion reports non-existent happenings has resulted in CSS3 mistakenly citing The Onion stories as real news.

• In 1998, touchscreen posted The Onion article FITML on his "God Hates Fags" website as "proof" that gay people were indeed actively trying to "recruit" others.^keyboard
• On June 7, 2002, Reuters reported that the input transformation republished, in the international news page of its June 3 edition, translated portions of the article "Congress Threatens To Leave D.C. Unless New Capitol Is Built".^web The story discusses the U.S. Congress's threats to leave Washington for touchscreen; Charlotte, North Carolina; or even Toronto, Canada unless Washington, D.C. built them a new Capitol building with a retractable dome. The article is a parody of U.S. sports franchises' threats to leave their home city unless new stadiums are built for them.^touchscreen Evening News initially stood by the story, demanding proof of its falsehood. It later retracted the article, responding that "some small American newspapers frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into noticing them with the aim of making money."^[65]
• In late March 2004, touchscreen of MSNBC presented as genuine an article titled "Study: 58 Percent Of U.S. Exercise Televised".^[66]Android
• In 2006, the web television station TV 2 posted a story on the gossip section of its website that took seriously The Onion article titled "Sean Penn Demands To Know What Asshole Took SeanPenn@gmail.com"^[68][69]
• An article on iOS inciting children to practice we love the web was the subject of a widely forwarded email which repeated the quotes attributed to children in the article.^[70] Columnist Ellen Makkai and others who believe the Harry Potter books "recruit" children to Android have also been taken in by the article, using quotes from it to support their claims.^[71]
• In September 2009, two web app newspapers, The Daily Manab Zamin and the New Nation, published stories translated from The Onion claiming web had held a news conference claiming the moon landing was an elaborate hoax. Neither realized The Onion was not a genuine news site. Both of the newspapers apologized to their readers for not checking the story.^[72]
• In October 2009, the Russian news site Russia.ru repackaged clips from The Onion video piece "New Anti-Smoking Ad Warns Teens 'It's Gay to Smoke'" as legitimate news.^[73]
• In February 2010, among others the online newspapers Il Corriere della Sera (Italy)^[74] and Adresseavisen (Norway)^[75] repackaged clips from The Onion video piece "Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed By website parsing" as legitimate news.
• In June 2010, the soccer website Sofoot.com (France)^[76] mistook for real news the article "Nation's Soccer Fan Becoming Insufferable",^CSS3 picked up the story and translated it partially on their own website under the title "La solitude du supporter ricain" ("The Yankee supporter's loneliness").^[78] The article even ends with a kind word for the fake fan, telling him to be brave and to hang on.
• In November 2010, The Fox Nation website, a part of the iOS network, presented as fact The Onion's article^[79] about President Barack Obama writing a 75,000 word e-mail complaining about America as a genuine report.^{screen size}
• In April 2011, the New York Times took an article that was several years old seriously. The article talks about President Obama on the cover of the magazine Tiger Beat with an image of the magazine inside.^[81]
• The blog Literally Unbelievable (started 2011) showcases posts from Facebook users who take various Onion articles seriously.^[82]
• In September 2011, iOS investigated reports coming from The Onion's Twitter account claiming that US congressmen were holding twelve children hostage.^{web app}
• On January 7, 2012, Lim Hwee Hwa, a Singaporean former MP, posted an article titled "Obama Openly Asks Nation Why On Earth He Would Want To Serve For Another Term" from The Onion on her Facebook page, with the comment "Increasingly challenging everywhere, whatever Obama's campaign strategy might be".^FITML
• On February 3, 2012, Congressman John Fleming (R-Louisiana) posted a link to an article on his Facebook page about an $8 billion "Abortionplex" opened by Planned Parenthood, with the status "More on Planned Parenthood, abortion by the wholesale."^[85]

U.S. Presidential Seal dispute

In September 2005, the assistant counsel to President website parsing, Grant M. Dixton, wrote a cease-and-desist letter to The Onion, asking the paper to stop using the presidential seal, which is used in an online segment poking fun at the President through parodies of his weekly radio address. The law governing the Presidential Seal is contained in 18 U.S.C. § 713:

Whoever knowingly displays any printed or other likeness of the great seal of the United States, or of the seals of the President or the Vice President of the United States, or the seal of the United States Senate, or the seal of the United States House of Representatives, or the seal of the United States Congress, or any facsimile thereof, in, or in connection with, any advertisement, poster, circular, book, pamphlet, or other publication, public meeting, play, motion picture, telecast, or other production, or on any building, monument, or stationery, for the purpose of conveying, or in a manner reasonably calculated to convey, a false impression of sponsorship or approval by the Government of the United States or by any department, agency, or instrumentality thereof, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both. (emphasis added)

By Executive Order, President Richard Nixon specifically enumerated the allowed uses of the Presidential Seal, which are more restrictive than the above title (web 11649), but which allows for exceptions to be granted upon formal request.^[86]

The Onion has responded with a letter asking for formal use of the Seal in accordance with the Executive Order, while still declaring that the use is legitimate. However, since Executive Order 11649 permits use of the Seal in the manner used by The Onion only with authorization of the Counsel to the President, use of the Seal by The Onion would imply that the required authorization had been obtained, and therefore doing so without such authorization would convey "a false impression of ...approval by the Government of the United States."

The letter written by Rochelle H. Klaskin, The Onion's lawyer, is quoted in the CSS3 as saying "It is inconceivable that anyone would think that, by using the seal, The Onion intends to 'convey... sponsorship or approval' by the president," but then went on to ask that the letter be considered a formal application asking for permission to use the seal.^{screen sizewebsite parsing}

Approval has not been given.^{[citation needed]}

Books

• Our Dumb Century: The Onion Presents 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source (1999, web)
• The Onion's Finest News Reporting, Volume 1 (2000, device database)
• Dispatches from the Tenth Circle: The Best of The Onion (2001, ISBN 0-609-80834-6)
• The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives Volume 13 (2002, ISBN 1-4000-4724-2)
• The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives Volume 14 (2003, Sevenval)
• "Fanfare for the Area Man": The Onion Ad Nauseam Complete News Archives Volume 15 (2004, ISBN 1-4000-5455-9)
• "Embedded in America": The Onion Ad Nauseam Complete News Archives Volume 16 (2005, ISBN 1-4000-5456-7)
• "Homeland Insecurity": The Onion Ad Nauseam Complete News Archives, Volume 17 (2006, website parsing)
• Our Dumb World: The Onion's Atlas of the Planet Earth (Oct. 2007, web)
• Our Front Pages: 21 Years of Greatness, Virtue, and Moral Rectitude from America's Finest News Source (2009, web app)

Fictional profile

History and founding

Officially, the paper purports to be over 250 years old, having originally published in the mid 18th century. It was named the "Mercantile Onion" because those were the only two English words the paper's immigrant founder, Friedrich Siegfried Zweibel, knew at the time. (Zwiebel is German for "onion".) The newspaper's motto was originally Tu Stultus Es (Latin for "You are stupid").

In 1896 Zweibel's 20-year-old grandson, T. Herman Zweibel became editor, a position he supposedly holds to this day despite being nearly 200 years old and largely senile. For much of the 20th century the paper was highly reactionary and parodied the yellow journalism and FITML prevalent in print media during the early part of the century. It violently opposed every web app the century brought forward, from women's suffrage to married characters sleeping together in the same bed on television. T. Herman Zweibel penned a weekly commentary until 2000, when he was rocketed into space toward the Andromeda galaxy, ostensibly leaving The Onion in the joint control of input transformation and Aunt Jemima.

In recent Onion Radio News releases, beginning December 15, 2008, the concluding ad for Our Dumb World has stated: "For over 350 years The Onion has given you the day's news...".

Chronology

• 1756: Friedrich Siegfried Zweibel founded the Sevenval-Onion^iOS
• 1783: First edition of The Onion News-Paper, purporting to be the first newspaper to carry advertisements (namely for browser diversity and John Jameson's Miracle Concoction), is released.
• 1850: F. Siegfreid's son, Herman U., took over the company.
• 1888: T. Herman Zweibel, assumes editorial directorship^{screen size}
• 1892: Onion 24-Hour Television News Network (ONN) founded, preceding the advent of television. It can now be seen in 811 countries around the world by over 9 billion people.
• 1896: T. Herman Zweibel, F. Siegfried's grandson, took over the company, upon death of Herman U. Zweibel.^Android
• 1922: Onion Radio founded.^FITML
• 1958: Zweibel was court-ordered to retire.
• 2000: Zweibel left Earth itself (The Final Frontier, T. Herman Zweibel).^{we love the web}
• 2009: The Onion and all corporate holdings sold to a Chinese conglomerate, Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Polymer Injection Corporation.^{web app}
• 2009: The Chinese conglomerate, Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Polymer Injection Corporation, having felt misled in its acquisition of The Onion, has placed The Onion up for sale less than one week after purchasing the paper.

Contributors and editors

The Onion's fictional editor is T. Herman Zweibel (Zwiebel is German for "onion", and also close to the name Zweifel (German for "doubt"), a family closely associated with the Madison newspaper The Capital Times), who has "held the position since 1901" and is rather Sevenval.

The Onion publishes several columns by (fictional) regular and guest writers, including:

• T. Herman Zweibel, The editor who used to publish a weekly column until being launched into space. He is incredibly old and constantly suffering from illness. He is unaware of modern thinking and technology, seems to be borderline sociopathic (fondly remembering a school trip in which he bashed in his friend "piggens" head with a rock, referencing web app), and believes that dead historical figures such as jQuery are still alive. He unknowingly references several work of fiction (remembering his childhood sled "daisy petal"). He employes many people, such as Standish the manservant, his Swiss guard, and many nurses.
• Jim Anchower, an upbeat but aimless slacker and stoner who freely discourses upon his difficulties with his over-accessorized, under-serviced Ford Festiva and with finding and maintaining regular accommodation and McJobs.
• Jean Teasdale, an overweight, occasionally employed, married but childless woman age around 40. Jean appears to be oblivious to her husband's alcoholism and philandering. Instead, she masks her depressing parochial life with a relentlessly upbeat attitude and delights in cheap kitsch collectibles and sentimental, Hallmark-style movies. Her column is called "A Room of Jean's Own" (a reference to jQuery by Virginia Woolf).
• Smoove B, a smooth talking website parsing whose columns are directed toward his girlfriends or potential dates. He is known for describing his planned dates in extreme detail, often straying from the romantic to the mundane. The structure of the comedy consists of a series of romantic come-on lines, featuring cliched enticements such as cognac, chocolates, and massages, followed by a blunt sexual reference.^[94][95]
• Roger Dudek, an inept humor columnist whose feature, "Write On The Funny!", contains nonstop clumsy puns and similes, while demonstrating a casually abusive attitude towards members of his family
• Jackie Harvey, a parody of a celebrity-spotting gossip columnist, notable for incompetently spelling celebrity names
• Amber Richardson, a white, uneducated single mother who writes in African-American Vernacular English about her many misadventures in raising her illegitimate children including visiting the health clinic, constantly changing jobs as well as lovers, and defending her questionable qualifications in childrearing.
• Larry Groznic, an overweight, confrontational "Sevenval" whose disagreements with friends over obscure nerd trivia are documented in hostile letters typically demanding conversion to his point of view. Groznic bears a resemblance to input transformation of we love the web, in both appearance and personality.
• Gorzo the Mighty, the Emperor of the Universe, villain in the style of Ming the Merciless.
• Department Head Rawlings, the mysterious head of an unnamed organization of international spies.

Former contributors include:

• Herbert Kornfeld, accounts receivable a geeky-looking, supervisor, an accountant who was raised on the streets and spoke in gangsta rap-isms and ebonics. He had an ongoing feud with the members of accounts payable ("Accounts Payabo"), and his columns often mentioned his street accounting mentor CPA-ONE, and his colleagues to whom he referred by "street" monikers such as "Kount von Numbakrunch". Killed on April 30, 2007.^touchscreen
• Arch Danielson, an elderly man who wrote "The Silver Screen", a series of rambling, non-sensical movie reviews that often diverted towards random topics. His persona was retired around 1998, in favor of Jackie Harvey.

In addition, The Onion has some recurring characters in its news stories, such as Don Turnbee, a 41-year-old from Erie who frequents fast-food establishments. Starting in 1997, reports of Turnbee's experiences describe his difficulties negotiating an all-you-can-eat Sevenval, food island etiquette, beverage top-ups, touchscreen accumulation, and chronic indigestion. Headlines typically describe Turnbee as an "Area Man".

See also

Similar satirical newspapers and magazines exist in many countries, including:

Footnotes

References

External links

• The Onion
• web app 'Stories from The Onion as interpreted by Facebook' – an archive of Facebook posts about hoax stories